Jan

Is that he says he can robot dance like a pro

I will be putting this to the test the next time I see him

:D

Jan is as mad as a box of frogs on acid. I love it. His enteries are top notch and always inventive and funny. I reckon we’d get into some cheeky trouble if we went out, so I’d like to have a pint with this fella and see!

Plus he like’s Ocean Colour Scene.
All of God’s children need their travelling shoes!

Why IamElectrogirl will never beat me at a cheer war ever again

The first reason is that she has this uncanny ability to make you want to shower her with cheers (amongst other things but let’s not go there). I shall elaborate:

_{#1: I believe she drinks Gin and Tonics. Not only does this make her appear suave and sophisticated but it also means that she wouldn’t go thirsty at my house. Or at my mate Rob’s either. Definitely worth cheering. Cheers!}

_{#2: She conjures up some of the best similes. I quote: “He bites his bottom lip while doing guitar leads in a way that makes me want to move to New York and stalk him” There goes another cheer.}

_{#3: She has learnt to use there, their and they’re in the correct terms, and therefore will not get stabbed at a Pedantic English Teachers’ convention. If that isn’t worth cheering, then I don’t know what is.}

_{#4: She has seen all the episodes of the Mighty Boosh, which means that she is either on recreational drugs or she has a wonderfully inane and irreverent sense of humour, and I’m tempted to think it’s the latter. Cheer cheer boing boing cheer.}

_{#5: She writes anonymous loving post-its for strangers to find, which is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard of. To make someone’s day is brilliant enough, but to do it with office stationery is just phenomenal. Another cheer.}

_{#6: She has attended a concert of her favourite band, which just makes me jealous. Not just the fact that she’s been to the concert, but also the fact that she’s managed to work out who her favourite band is. CHEER}

_{#7: She wants her own library with big wheelie ladders and massive sofas and great books. Well I’m sure 1 out of 3 isn’t bad so far. “Ring ring. Hello? Who’s speaking please? Jan? Oh you’ve cheered me? Why thank you!”}

_{#8: I have just found out that she has ALREADY learnt the Napoleon Dynamite dance, which I would pay good money to see her perform. Twice. Boogie-cheer-woogie.}

_{#9: She seems to have and care a lot about a great bunch of friends who are just as mad (I won’t say bananas) as she is. And she seems to have a great relationship with her Mum, which is just fantastic. Cue Trisha-type standing ovationey cheer.}

_{#10: She is the most brilliant procrastinator, which means that if I’ve offended her in any way so far, she’s not going to be arsed to email me back a torrent of threatening abuse! The biggest cheer ever!}

So that is just a small insight as to why she will never again whoop my ass at a cheer war. There are just too many things to cheer, dammit! So I suggest all you 43ers out there in the whole wide wonky world should cheer-bomb her tonight as a symbol of your agreement, otherwise I shall find out where you all live, tie you up and force you to listen to my war poetry.

The second reason is that her subscription to my ass has expired and I’m afraid she cannot be deemed owner any longer

I admire Jan because above all he makes me laugh, i actualy slipped a “lol” out loud when reading his entries once.

True story!

Jan recently went vegan for a week, and despite being an avid meat eater myself, i found this to be a great and worthwhile goal. That whole cant knock it until you have tried it malarky… well… Jan… be safe in the knowlege that you can mock vegans all you want now, and they cant say a damn thing about it!

Jan wants to learn how to break dance in the style of Napoleon Dynamite. I would like to see that. I may even pay money

Jan says that he likes to cook, which is always good. I happen to like to eat.. fancy that!

Jan can say his name in British Sign Language… thats JAN not JAM. Could get confusing at the breakfast table!?

Jan wants to own a cat, or should i say a kitten, which instantly takes him up in my estimation. I like cat people… just not Jocelyn Wildenstein Frankly she scares me!

Jan is clearly into music, which is no bad thing in my books. He not only plays the guitar (despite the fact it gives him callouses), wants to record an album and go to a gig, but he also has the urge to be able to play jazz piano like some sort of out there Jazz Maverick. Howard Moon eat your heart out!

But despite all this…

The main reason i admire jan…

Is that hes not too much of a man to admit when hes beat

Even if it was by a woman

I think he secretly likes it ;)

She’s honest, open-minded, and has cats.

She loves variety, is slightly eccentric, and likes books.

She has interesting hair, different coloured eyes, and loves her music.

She makes me laugh, sometimes scares the shit out of me, and cheers my entries that no-one ever reads.

She would probably crush you like a spider, but would run around screaming if a gigantic moth flew into the room.

She has a nice smile, although you can’t tell as she appears to have superglued her lips to her fingers.

She isn’t really a pirate, which is great as she would otherwise have parrot poo all over her shoulder, all the time.

So yeah, that’s why I want to meet IamElectroGirl.

Plus I owe her a slap for whooping my ass at last night’s cheer war :P